Friday, August 23, 2013

What Authors Do When Their Brains Freeze!

Jordan Dane

Okay, I'll admit that this isn't my most fruitful blog post. It serves no purpose, except to warn of the possibility of a Zombie-pocalypse. It's better to be safe than sorry. 

My sister and one of my nephews are big fans of The Walking Dead. In AMC's hit TV show, zombies are called "Walkers." I haven't seen the show, sorry to say, but I have good intentions. Once I heard about their "Dead Yourself" app, I had to try it and downloaded it to my cell phone. (Insert eye roll here.) You can take a photo of someone you want to turn into a horrible monster, or alter a copy of a photo you already have. Did I mention that when an author's brain freezes, sanity and common sense go out the window?

Here is my older brother. I know you're wondering. Why is he wearing that hat? Yeah, you guessed it. It's his birthday. Maybe dead Zombies should forfeit their birthdays in favor of calling them Decomp-Days to commemorate how long they have before their skin peels off like a good old fashioned snake shed. If you have a better name for it, chime in with a comment.

Beliw and on the left is my sister - The Walker Queen. Nice smile and she still has her own teeth. Next to her is my sweet little mother and my niece who used to crave fajitas. Now all she talks about is brain burritos. If you have a good recipe for brains, I'm sure she would appreciate you sharing it in a comment, even though she is perfectly happy with Brain-sashimi. Have soy will travel.

Here is my handsome nephew Miquel. What's that on his hand? yeah, you guessed it. His college graduation ring. He's so proud. In his other hand is his old roommate. We can't talk about that. Therapist's orders.

Finally there is me. My new author photo. I had to update it, especially after...well, you change in hair color. Getting old sucks, but now I don't have to worry about it. Being dead solves a lot of problems, like lactose intolerance, paying taxes, and worrying over every wrinkle. When your skin peels off, wrinkles don't seem so bad.


Seeing my transformation now should make the big Zombie-pocalypse easier to handle. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Sechin Tower said...

Oh! My! God!
That transformation is amazing. It just so happens that right now I'm watching a show about Cosplay competitors. I think you would win!

Jordan Dane said...

I'm at a family gathering and we're zombi-fying everybody. Too much fun.

Anonymous said...

Jordan, this is just beautiful, awe inspiring to say the least. I am definitely adding you to my Post Apocalyptic Crew. Together, we will thrive!